“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” Sherlock Holmes
It is my firm belief that in ten years’ time that the issue of Parental Alienation in child-contact cases will be taken as seriously as Domestic abuse. However, this a slow-moving area of law and many people, including professionals still need educating, to recognise and understand what it is. Luckily most Judges are now extremely alert to this issue.
If Covid 19 had not happened I had been invited alongside a Judge, barrister, law lecturer and member of Cafcass, by a local barrister’s chambers, to give a talk to other South West solicitors about how to approach cases which had Parental Alienation at their heart.
It is essentially where a child or children becomes estranged from one parent by the psychological manipulation of the other parent. This estrangement can manifest itself in totally perverse behaviours. A child who one week, is desperate to see their Mum or Dad, is now saying they never want to see them again. They portray hostility, fear and unrecognisable behaviours with no obvious reason for the change. In my experience however, it is often not just because of the ‘bad mouthing’ from the other parent, but subtle, dishonest work done by the parent who has care of the child. Children in such cases also can suffer something known as ‘psychological splitting’ where they try to please the parent that they are with, unknowingly echoing the criticism of the parent they are not with.
I have successfully represented parents in such cases who have not seen their children for longer than two or more years, but who have then had their children returned to them when the court has recognised that the other parent has alienated the children against my client. Costs orders are rare in all family cases, but I have also had cases where substantial costs have been awarded to a client whose ex-partner has been shown to be an ‘alienator’ and has continued to flout or ignore Court Orders.
Such cases are never easy, and often involve having to get specialists in to report to the Court, such as psychologists or independent social workers. It is sometimes also necessary to challenge findings by Cafcass and other professionals and vital never to take things at face-value.
I also have a team of excellent barristers who I have spent considerable time cultivating, to call on, to help you. If you are to expose an ‘alienator’ then at some stage you are likely to need a barrister with really specialist knowledge of this area of law and time spent, on the ground, fighting these cases.
Most importantly you should approach such a case properly from the start. If your child or children are reporting upsetting behaviours for no reason, deal with this early before it gets worse. Timing is everything.
Therefore if you think your case has elements of Parental Alienation then it is worth getting expert advice, and quickly.